The best time I've ever gone broke

I've never gambled with money that I can't afford to lose. I hope that I never make decisions that lead me to changing this position. I've busted myself to the point of being unable to afford to lose more times than I can remember, and I'm presently in this frustratingly familiar position once again for the last week and change. In terms of poker, I think that I largely gamble pretty good overall, that being said I could easily dial in a few more places where I tend to pick overly volatile spots.

"Until you can manage a bankroll, you'll always be red-lined" Easily the most helpful advice I've embraced, though my biggest obstacle has been bankroll management from outside of poker. I do feel that I've done a lot to improve this in the last year, though I also feel that I have much further to go.

I'm more than a solid winning player, and I don't think I'm at all deluded in my belief that the ceiling for my skill in this game is very, very high. I've been good at lots of things in my life, although I feel like I've only been great at a few things. Even though I've worked hard in a lot of things where I have improved greatly, I haven't worked particularly smart in a lot of the space of that hard work.

One of the strongest attractions I've had to poker, even far before I began this journey was that no matter how much time, work, or what my age is, this is something I can continue to improve myself at. By no means do I consider my level of accomplishment (or lack thereof) very noteworthy, though when I look back at the player I used to be, it's clear that I've come a long way.

"Buy the ticket, take the ride" for life... I do plan to continue to improve my ability to consistently buy better ride tickets though. Additionally, my decision to not buy/sell any action since I determined that I didn't want to deal cards anymore was the right one. This is my journey, and I don't want to be influenced by introducing an external element into the equation of value while I'm playing.

Repetition if not deliberate practice certainly has a conditioning effect, and if for no reason other than I honestly believe myself to be far more balanced in life than even six months ago. That easily has made busting out of the game easier to handle gracefully, though lets be sure to remember it still fucking stings. "Be humble in victory, and be humble in defeat." So far, so good. Lets do a better job preparing myself to not have this struggle so easily again.

Nice Hand :)

Watched a pretty sick read earlier today playing $1-$2 NL. I was in seat 3 UTG and wasn't involved in the hand, a few players limp for $2, and when the player in seat one is facing $1 more to call, with a conservative TAG senior player in the big blind, he speech calls "just one more?", big blind raises to $5 (fucking awesome), everyone re-limps the $5 so seat one facing the same situation as a few seconds earlier speech re-calls.

KK4XJ

I didn't follow the hand especially closely on the flop action, but on the turn there seat one (KT) has checked, seat 7 has yet to act, and seat 9 (ten handed table) has prematurely bet. Seat one knows that it's a premature bet, although when the dealer asks seat 7 "did you check" they answered yes. Seat 1 is a regular, quite skilled player with a lot of hand history with all the players involved with this hand. Since he knows that 7 didn't check, but pretended to before further action on the river, he ends up folding KT for minimal damage after showing his neighbor in seat 2.

Seat 7 Kings full of Jacks
Seat 9 Fours full of Kings

I've been getting my playing hours back up a bit more. I'm on a good pace but I need to stay on course if I'm going to get my monthly hours played up to where I want it. Other than that not a whole lot to write about. Super disciplined next level nit lessons all over... next stop, your table.

A few times in the past two months I've been positively impacted by seeing someone inside/around poker who I hadn't seen in some time, and they were genuinely happy to see that I'm doing well. I've always held the perspective that even though the nature of the game requires a "there can be only one" approach, it's so beneficial to be your most friendly self when in the long run. These side encounters to my poker were really rewarding to know that it's because I'm not unpleasant to be at a table gambling with.

I've not been especially (poker) active in the last year. In reflecting on various parts of my life, specifically many aspects of the poker lifestyle I was living were either unsustainable, or even undesirable to want to continue to have in my life moving forward. Poker is still so important to me that I'd struggle to put a measurable value on it, and having a greater understanding on why has helped light the way ahead for several of my goals.

I haven't been happy that I've allowed myself to not write for so long. Not for this blog, or content for something else. I'm not happy that I haven't used this form of composing your thoughts. So write more, for your brain's sake.